ТАТЬЯ И ЕЛЕНА
Today we publish a conversation with Elena from Samara. She has asked us not to publish personal photos, so we accompany her story with illustrations. Together with her spouse Yelena they have lived together for more than 20 years and are raising a daughter.
With Russia's full-scale invasion of Ukraine, they faced new challenges: military propaganda in schools and disagreements with their communities. It forced them to relocate.
Today we publish a conversation with Elena from Samara. She has asked us not to publish personal photos, so we accompany her story with illustrations. Together with her spouse Yelena they have lived together for more than 20 years and are raising a daughter.
With Russia's full-scale invasion of Ukraine, they faced new challenges: military propaganda in schools and disagreements with their communities. It forced them to relocate.
1
It is painful that close friends and relatives justify what is happening
Our business, together with my wife, is a children's centre. We've been doing it for 12 years. We have lived as a family for more than 20 years. We never hid what kind of family we had. We never had any problems, but for a long time, we thought of leaving. My parents did not accept our family. I was always scared that if something happened to one of us, we would not be able to register our children with each other, and there were a lot of negative attitudes in society. At the same time, people treat me well personally. I work with children with Down syndrome and autism spectrum disorders. And in front of me, they start saying offensive (homophobic) things, not knowing that I have such a family. It's very prickly. It's always been very unpleasant.
And now I have a deep frustration with what is happening [Russia's full-scale invasion of Ukraine - Ed. note]. It is harrowing that close friends and relatives justify what is happening. My mother, who is half Ukrainian, literally says: "where have you been for eight years?"
And now I have a deep frustration with what is happening [Russia's full-scale invasion of Ukraine - Ed. note]. It is harrowing that close friends and relatives justify what is happening. My mother, who is half Ukrainian, literally says: "where have you been for eight years?"
2
There are many Z-symbols at schools. The children had to write a letter to the soldiers, and the child refused to do it
There are many Z-symbols at schools. For the first time, they started calling me to school. I've done a lot at school, and they can't talk to me disrespectfully. But the school's administration drew up two protocols for us this year. The children had to write a letter to the soldiers, and the child refused to do it. I do not know what they write in the protocol.
For 20 years, our parents were on their way to start accepting us, and now they are manipulating this sensitive subject again. Instead of explaining to elderly, intelligent, kind people that there is nothing wrong, there are plenty of friends, the house is good, the job is good, and the children have everything. What more do we need? Instead of that, they are even more annoyed. It spoils a lot of people's life. And it is not clear why they're doing it.
A huge number of homophobic jokes. Our friends, sitting at the table with us, started making homophobic jokes. I have heard many times people talking about taking children away from LGBT families, saying that they should not live in such families. Either we have to teach our children how to lie or lie to them ourselves. We already fall under the "gay propaganda" law.
For 20 years, our parents were on their way to start accepting us, and now they are manipulating this sensitive subject again. Instead of explaining to elderly, intelligent, kind people that there is nothing wrong, there are plenty of friends, the house is good, the job is good, and the children have everything. What more do we need? Instead of that, they are even more annoyed. It spoils a lot of people's life. And it is not clear why they're doing it.
A huge number of homophobic jokes. Our friends, sitting at the table with us, started making homophobic jokes. I have heard many times people talking about taking children away from LGBT families, saying that they should not live in such families. Either we have to teach our children how to lie or lie to them ourselves. We already fall under the "gay propaganda" law.
3
Leaving is the only way for us to show our fierce dissent
The new law is a clear threat to our lives. Before we applied for the humanitarian visa, we wanted to create a large non-profit organisation - to make a centre with a school and a day centre for children. We met with the authorities, and I talked to a rather well-known lawmaker. But when I heard what he said about "LGBT propaganda", I realised that I didn't want anything from this person. I couldn't talk to him.
It's scary to stay in Russia. Leaving is the only way for us to show our fierce dissent. It is regrettable to leave home and the children's centre. Only my work helps me to carry on with my everyday life. I have stopped communicating with many people because I cannot accept their views. We want to go back, but only when the government changes.
Some people are sharply opposed to the war, and they stay. They dare to stay. The only way I can protest this is not to be part of what is happening. I had to make the hard choice of leaving the children at the centre because it is difficult for them to contact new people. But several mothers told me: "What a blessing it is for you to leave. It's so dangerous for you to stay here." I was shocked.
It's scary to stay in Russia. Leaving is the only way for us to show our fierce dissent. It is regrettable to leave home and the children's centre. Only my work helps me to carry on with my everyday life. I have stopped communicating with many people because I cannot accept their views. We want to go back, but only when the government changes.
Some people are sharply opposed to the war, and they stay. They dare to stay. The only way I can protest this is not to be part of what is happening. I had to make the hard choice of leaving the children at the centre because it is difficult for them to contact new people. But several mothers told me: "What a blessing it is for you to leave. It's so dangerous for you to stay here." I was shocked.
