KAI (THEY)
Our first conversation turned out to be very energetic and inspiring.
Kai talked about how the tightening of propaganda and the impossibility of being useful can make a person leave the country.
We also talked about the first difficulties they had faced and the desire to do activism that knows no barriers.
Our first conversation turned out to be very energetic and inspiring.
Kai talked about how the tightening of propaganda and the impossibility of being useful can make a person leave the country.
We also talked about the first difficulties they had faced and the desire to do activism that knows no barriers.
1
At first, I didn't want to leave because I had hope.
I don't know what for. After six months of full-scale military invasion of Ukraine, it became unbearable for me. There was a lot more propaganda around and a lot more censorship. I realised that there was nothing I could do in Russia to make things better. Because I could not even help myself.
I filled in the application form for a humanitarian visa while working. In an incredible panic, I searched for everything I had done in my life in Russia. Collecting information about yourself feels like being an employee of the 'E' centre*. My friends filling out this visa also shared these feelings. Not sure. It's fun to have a job like this. I liked looking for different mentions of myself. I was horrified that I could be locked up long enough in Russia. From the age of 18, I started volunteering for T-Action (Т-действие), which had just recently been recognised as a foreign agent. This is, of course, a mark of quality, which has naturally been earned through a lot of hard work. But it makes their job very difficult now because they remain in Russia.
I also ran my own social networks, where I wrote different posts about gender, went out to single pickets and rallies, and gave interviews. Basically, all my activities were, in one way or another, related to charity and social work.
*'E' centre — Center for Combating Extremism is a unit within the Ministry of Internal Affairs of the Russian Federation famous for its political persecution.
I filled in the application form for a humanitarian visa while working. In an incredible panic, I searched for everything I had done in my life in Russia. Collecting information about yourself feels like being an employee of the 'E' centre*. My friends filling out this visa also shared these feelings. Not sure. It's fun to have a job like this. I liked looking for different mentions of myself. I was horrified that I could be locked up long enough in Russia. From the age of 18, I started volunteering for T-Action (Т-действие), which had just recently been recognised as a foreign agent. This is, of course, a mark of quality, which has naturally been earned through a lot of hard work. But it makes their job very difficult now because they remain in Russia.
I also ran my own social networks, where I wrote different posts about gender, went out to single pickets and rallies, and gave interviews. Basically, all my activities were, in one way or another, related to charity and social work.
*'E' centre — Center for Combating Extremism is a unit within the Ministry of Internal Affairs of the Russian Federation famous for its political persecution.
2
For me, various queer organisations have done a lot.
For example, T Action translates the standards of care for trans people, which is incredibly helpful for a person. It's a real help that you feel when you go to a doctor who doesn't have to give a lecture.
But I used to come to doctors as an activist, and it's nice to see how people aren't afraid to go to those psychiatrists I've worked with and get professional help for free in a public institution. I hope it stays that way because I've made them queer-friendlier. I don't know how you can dissuade people from abruptly abandoning those views. I don't think the law can "fix" that.
But I used to come to doctors as an activist, and it's nice to see how people aren't afraid to go to those psychiatrists I've worked with and get professional help for free in a public institution. I hope it stays that way because I've made them queer-friendlier. I don't know how you can dissuade people from abruptly abandoning those views. I don't think the law can "fix" that.
I love helping people because many queer people have a hard life, especially in Russia. And when your actions do some good, and you see people getting better, you realize it's not in vain.
3
This relocation is complicated.
It is hard enough for me to ask for someone else's help. I was pretty comfortable with Kvartira because I have known them for a long time, but with someone else, it is hard for me. I left Russia via Georgia and lived there for a month. I was making my way through a humanitarian disaster at Upper Lars. I had no job, and I constantly asked everyone in the world for help. I understand that many people need help now. For others in Georgia, I was "just another guy who left Russia because he didn't want to die on a battlefield himself.
When I left Russia, I was not sure I had enough money. This is a significant problem. Many people who leave after the wave of repressive laws are activists who have nothing. Most activism in Russia is free, and going without some financial cushion and support is challenging. I was unsure about everything.
When I left Russia, I was not sure I had enough money. This is a significant problem. Many people who leave after the wave of repressive laws are activists who have nothing. Most activism in Russia is free, and going without some financial cushion and support is challenging. I was unsure about everything.
4
I am now in a small village.
I know that there is an organisation here that helps Ukrainians. I am uncomfortable approaching them because it is an organisation for Ukrainians, and they have more problems than I do now. There is a war in their home country, and my home country is involved.
Right now, in Germany, I lack socialisation more than anything else. But this is only a problem because I am in a "little transphobic village". But now I can see what issues exist in Germany too, and I'm ready to do activism here because I know what it's for. I held a solitary march here on the day of remembrance for transgender people who died because of transphobia.
Germany is quite good with NGOs. I would really like to help people. In this respect, I am glad to be in Germany because there are fewer problems with NGOs here than in Russia. In Russia, my work was practically free of charge.
Right now, in Germany, I lack socialisation more than anything else. But this is only a problem because I am in a "little transphobic village". But now I can see what issues exist in Germany too, and I'm ready to do activism here because I know what it's for. I held a solitary march here on the day of remembrance for transgender people who died because of transphobia.
Germany is quite good with NGOs. I would really like to help people. In this respect, I am glad to be in Germany because there are fewer problems with NGOs here than in Russia. In Russia, my work was practically free of charge.
5
I would still very much like to go back to Russia.
My home is there. They are actively trying to remove it from Russia in various ways. Even the place where I used to work and fill in my visa application has closed down. It's a speciality coffee house called Fuckt. They cooperated with an organisation called Children of Petersburg, which helped migrant children and their, families, and held letter evenings for political prisoners. The prerequisites for the law (on "LGBT propaganda") were already in place when I left. It didn't change anything for me, but for my loved ones who stayed in Russia, it is very hard. But I imagine it could be even worse. I don't want to talk about it, lest Russian politicians take these methods for themselves to repress my queer loved ones.
